All back on... bollocks

Had another scan at the hospital and the Dr has decided that I should have a natural birth and there is no need for a c-section. Great! This sent me into a bit of a panic because hubby's homecoming was originally based on the c-section. Have discussed this with the midwife and she is happier now I'm having the natural birth, but did point out that I am still being monitored by the hospital and they may still decide on c-section.
Anyhow to cut a long story short, my husbands leave date will not change, he will only have the two weeks leave now though, rather than the 4 weeks for my recovery after c-section, which is fair enough I guess, but means he'll have less time with his new baby before he has to go back to hell again :o( Just have to hope she now puts in a timely appearance, like somewhere in those two weeks!!!! I'll have to search for tips on how to bring labour on early, so I can try these out whilst he is home. It's all a bit shit really and and just makes me so angry that he even has to be in that crappy place, doing a job that no one appreciates.

The Weekend

Yes it's that time again. The normally boring time, although I've been on leave for two weeks, that's been like one really long weekend.
Hopefully going swimming today if the weather stays good. Looks promising at the moment.

Well, hubby is back home in approx. 1 month! coinsiding(sp) with this, the arrival of baby. I can't quite decide which I'm more excited about, probably seeing my husband, because hopefully there isn't as much pain with that arrival. Although I expect he is in the same dilema, he has the added bonus of seeing how much I've grown too! LOL. Providing baby doesn't decide to make an early appearance he'll also get to experience a little bt of my pregnancy, which I know he is desperate to do. He's really wanting to see the baby move and feel the kicking. I do hope he gets the chance, I know it's something he is longing for.

I chatted to him online the other night and now that I have the webcam sorted out, he got a chance to see me too, which was brilliant. He was really pleased about that, just a shame that technology in the army welfare sector can't provide a reciprical service, would have been fantastic to see him after nearly 3 months. But, hopefully it's helped his morale, which is always a good thing.

Dirty Turbin

http://www.guzer.com/videos/prank_call_turbin.php

British Troops Fierce Amphibious Attack

http://www.guzer.com/videos/brittishtroops.php

The weather is pretty good now

Fantastic thunderstorm! Loads of rain... just what I need.
Have video taped some of it for hubby, I'm sure he'll appreciate seeing some rain. I really should get a wireless webcam and everyone could have seen how cool the storm is. Wish it wouldn't interfere with my TV reception though!

Weather is too hot!

For anyone.. let alone me being pregnant.

The temperature was about 33 degrees at 1830hrs this evening. I have some sympathy with my husband now when he tells me how hot it is. I struggle with 33 degrees, how the hell does he cope in temperatures of 48 degrees!!!

Anyway... good news... he's coming home a week earlier than originally thought. This is so hopefully he is back in time for the CS. It still seems like too far away though, but maybe that's because the days are going slow because I'm on leave.

Well it's nearly 11pm here, so I'll be off for now, a cool shower is beckoning! Current temperature is 26 degrees (how am I meant to sleep in that!)

British Soldier Killed in Iraq

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1227876,00.html

Another hard day

It started of really well and I was pretty happy, but my mood has changed again this evening.
I just have a few moments when I need a bit of a cry.
I miss him so much and it seems so long until he is home.
I'm hoping to get a phone call tonight, so I can tell him how things went at my midwife appointment.
I hope he remembers, I really want to hear his voice.
It seems like ages since we last spoke, but maybe it's only a week.
I guess a week is a long time in normal relationships, but for us it's nothing really.
I just want to see his smile again, it's been about 75 days since I saw it last. I'd like to be able to touch him to... I've reached a point where I've forgotten how it feels, which is a horrible feeling. I always seem to be tired, I feel exhausted today and I've been off work since the end of last week.
I just feel so lost and so lonely and don't know if I can make it through another tour like this.

Spend a Lifetime

You know I need your touch honey
I want your touch honey
Like the morning sun has just begun,
like the rain on my window pane,
if I could make you stay
More than one day
Eternally together
Oh, I need your touch
Oh, I want your loving Sweet,
you know that we can make it happen
For you and for me to be
And eternally together we will be

I found his goodbye letter!

I was down in the cellar looking for some heavy duty tape. I spotted an envelope in one of his cupboards, that I'd written on. I had a look inside and it had a handful of things & letters that I'd sent him on his last tour.
But one envelope in there had my name on it and it was still sealed... Well as it was addressed to me I decided to open it, but as I was doing it, I realised why I'd never got the letter.
I took a quick peak because I was too scared to pull out the whole letter. I just spotted "I'm sorry you've got this letter", and in big letters "THE THING WE NEVER THINK ABOUT".
My heart skipped a beat, it was the 'Final Letter' from his last tour. I froze and didn't know what to do with it, I panicked that I'd found it.. like I'd be tempting fate. I didn't know whether to bin it or what... I just put the envelope back in with all the other bits, threw it into the cupboard and came back upstairs. I feel like I can't throw it away while he is gone, but he'll have to dispose of it when he gets back, it's just too morbid knowing it's there.

The Caesarean Question.

After discussions with hubby, have spoken to the hospital and requested a caesarean. This all sounds a bit flipant you might think, well not exactly. Because of my epilepsy there is a medical reason behind this choice. There is also of course the fact that we'll have a date for delivery and hubby may be able to get back here in time for the birth. The will also be the need for him to stay at home longer with me, during the recovery period.
It all seems a bit too much, being pregnant and him being away. It's like I'm having to make choices based on the wrong reasons... well not necesarily wrong reasons... but convenient reasons. Of course even the natural birth scares the hell out of me, the thought of having to go through all that on my own, scares me even more. So, this week I'll be breaking the news to my midwife... I hope she doesn't have a go at me, I'm sure she won't, I'm just too scared of being alone through the natural birth and if I had a seizure... well, that's the whole scary part.

Lazy Posting

I've been a bit lazy with my posting recently haven't I?

I've spent a lot of time updating my support group and have been rushing around doing things at home too. But... I have two weeks leave starting on Monday, so I can take it easy.

Well What has been happening... My first item of note... some evil bastard stole hubby's mobile phone!!! Can you believe the sheer cheek of it!! It might have been a bit easier to take, was it not for the fact that we had the phone so he could keep updated with my pregnancy. It wasn't just some luxury item that he packed as an after thought! the only other consolation is the phone is crap... the camera doesn't work properly and the phone itself is all scratched and battered looking. I've been trying to phone it in the hopes someone will pick it up and I can start screaming and say... "help, tell them the baby's coming"... or something like that, but it's not switched on. Hubby said that he called it and someone asnswered, then quickly put the phone down. What is it with some people... Do they not think about the consequences of their actions... how what they are doing can effect others. Well I hope the phone packs up or gets run over by an armoured vehicle.